10 of 12

"Nearly sunset, and time on the water
of 1984. Language its tracer.
No image like the image of language.

I had waded out about thigh deep.
Then a shout from the beach.
I held in my hand half a coconut shell

of coconut milk and 150-proof rum
and dumped it white into the waves
when it came on me how sweet it had been,

then the idea I was not finished,
then the act of reaching down

with the idea I would get it back."

I think that Rodney was trying to make a statement depicting how hard it is to describe scenes and emotions using only language, yet noting the magic of how language can completely change the meaning. If one takes this poem in a literal sense, it is about a man who is in the water, dumps a good drink into the waves, and then regrets it. However, this can be interpreted differently depending on the reader. I, for example, took the writer being 'thigh deep' in the water as a danger- he could be swept away by the current at any moment. Furthermore, the drink itself could represent an idea that he let go, but then came to realize that he could do so much more with said idea and thus regretted his decision. The writer, therefore, took a risk (when he was thigh deep in the water) when discarded his idea (rum).

11 of 12

Are these Four-letter word projects writing?

I don't believe so, to be honest. To me, it was as if I was making a movie or an AMV (anime music video). I associate writing with text, so to see these picture montages as a kind of writing seems foreign to me.

However, as an anthropologist-to-be, I try my best to understand foreign things. The projects presented arguments, where some ideas were better executed than others. Any movie, likewise, presents an argument or idea. In this sense, although they aren't properly termed compositions, movies are created with a writing base. Like a pen and paper, computers and cameras can be writing tools. When uploading and created the project in software, the computer uses different coding (consisting of numbers, letter, and symbols) to read and process the information.The coding print creates a story and an accompanying argument and this is a kind of text--one that I can more easily identify with.

Blog 9 of 12

When I wear text, which isn't very often, I expect to hear a comment about it; I anticipate someone to go, "Hey, I love [insert fandom here]" or something along those lines. I try to stay away from wearing text unless it's referencing a fandom I follow or sporting a witty saying because I think it looks tacky. For the latter, I expect an "EL OH EL", if anything at all. Besides that, the other text I own deals with sports teams and schools, none of which I expect a reaction to because so many people wear text like that and, for example, don't actually attend the school.

When I tweet, I tweet to myself, yet subconsciously hope that other people will read it and value the information. I want people to read and reply, but that's not my ultimate goal.

Questions for Zadie

"We feel that our voices are who we are, and that to have more than one, or to use different versions of a voice for different occasions represents, at best, a Janus-faced duplicity, and at worst, the loss of our very souls. (180)    Doesn't this completely disregard pretty much every minority in America? There are are children in this country who have parents who don't speak English and, therefore, the kid has to learn two languages to survive. You're literally saying that every immigrant child is a two-faced soulless bastard.

"How persistent this horror of the middling spot is, this dread of the interim place. It extends through the specter of the tragic mulatto to the plight of the transsexual, to our present anxiety- disguised as genteel concern- for the contemporary immigrant, tragically split, we are sure, between worlds, ideas, cultures, voices-whatever will become of them? Something's got to give- one voice must be sacrificed for the other." (182) Language is an indicator about your life and, like the way you dress, is subject to change depending upon who you interact with. It’s not duplicitous, it’s the basis of human social interactions in the modern world. We have to change the way we speak in order to interact with various contexts. Don’t you think that, by sacrifice one voice for another, it limits one’s ability to function in today’s society?

"This new president doesn't just speak for his people. He can speak them." (182)

Obama is a politician and all politicians are groomed in the same way. What makes him different from any other given candidate, aside from political alignment and the color of his skin?

"Throughout his campaign Obama was careful always to say "we." He was noticeably wary of "I." (184) Well, duh. He has to appeal to everyone. He can’t just appeal to blacks for the black vote, nor to solely the whites. When he speaks, his message is the same, but the interpretation made by different ethnicities may be different. Wouldn’t it be racist to assume his rhetoric changes when he’s speaking to blacks?

". . .and roll my eyes at anyone who insists that Obama is not the first black president but the first biracial one." (185) But he technically is biracial. His father was a black man from Africa and his mother was a white woman from Kansas. You can’t ignore the fact that he’s still part white just to prove a point about how a black man can adopt a white man’s façade and, therefore, speak in many voices. Do you really think that Obama would have stood a chance in the campaigns if it wasn’t for his Caucasian heritage? He needs to appeal to the largest ethnic groups in the United States, not just one or another.

"It's the Joyces of this world who 'talk down to black folks.' And so to avoid being Joyce, or being seen to be Joyce, you unify, you speak with one voice." (188) All Joyce is doing is acknowledging her Caucasian heritage. Aren’t you jumping to conclusions by saying that she’s ashamed of her black heritage and that mentioning her white background is a defensive mechanism to save her from scrutiny? Joyce is right-- she doesn’t need to choose one heritage over another.

    

President vs. Poet

The rhetoric of a president and a poet are different. A president, when making a speech, must remember to be politically correct. He has to watch his words and make sure to never end up in a situation where he wished he bit his tongue. Ultimately, the president's speech writers aim to appeal to a wide range of people and to refrain from insulting anyone. A poet, however, has more freedom with their variety of voices. Poetry is a form of creative writing, full of symbols and metaphors. These symbols can be controversial in order to get the reader to analyze and think about the written piece. Furthermore, when a poet like Shakespeare embodies a character, the character may not be liked by every reader because of a flaw, personality trait, or an action gone wrong. A poet doesn't have to appeal to everyone, just the general public. They don't have to worry about offending the reader because the reader knows that the character is just that, a character--a piece of fiction. A poet has the luxury of being able to lie in his many voices for the purpose of entertainment, while a president must always be wary of thin ice everywhere.

Twouble with Twitter

"Who are they talking to?" A little birdie answered, "No one and everyone."

The usual Twitter user tweets to point out something they may think is relevant. Usually, it's something that breaks up their daily routine in some way or another, even if it seems mundane to everyone who may be reading it. When one tweets, they are tweeting for themselves. At the same time, the user hopes that their followers can look at the tweet and go, "Huh. Cool," or maybe even reply to it. Thus, when one tweets, they are subconsciously looking for acknowledgment by their followers.

When I write online, I write rather informally; I'm lazy when it comes to capitalization and writing out whole words (ie: I don't know = iunno). Writing online is usually a more personal experience for me, considering that most writing I do online is in blog form. I blog to help myself, not to appeal to anyone else and, therefore, I do not care for the opinions of others. This differs from when I write something on paper, such as a formal essay or a letter to someone I care deeply about, because I then write to prove a point and search for acceptance. On twitter, I tweet quotes that mean something to me or random tidbits of my every day life. These tidbits, I've come to notice, are often complaints and have been so since I made my account in high school. Whether it's moaning about homework or vaguely hinting towards my disgust in an individual, I use it as a way of releasing pent-up frustration.

I think Twitter, as mentioned in one of my previous blog posts, is an effective form of blogging depending on how it is used. Very powerful things can be said in a few words, such as the cliche "I love you." Sure, lots of useless stuff is also mentioned, but sometimes you can find a real gem in the middle of the grime. Microblogging allows one to experiment in finding the right words to summarize what they want to say in a limited space. The fewer words you use in your argument, the more strength each word carries.

A Dozen by a Dozen

"Flexibility in voice can lead to flexibility in all things because you are not providing a firm answer--what you say (when you are flexible in voice) can be interpreted in any way. The best example of flexibility was in Dr. Lay's 12/5/11 class when she answered "mhmmmmmmmmm" to my two questions. (Q1) Can we draw a picture instead? (Q2) Portrait or landscape?

He drew to what appears to be a classroom or lecture hall. On the left side, standing before a podium and towering above the students, is a teacher. The teacher is portrayed as a man with muscles and short hair, which is important because he is one out of the two figures drawn that have hair. Sitting at desks are four students and, all the way in the back, stands Jay Leno. The talk show host is the other figure with hair and the artist makes him recognizable by exaggerating his prominent chin. It should also be noted that Jay Leno is the only character whose face is drawn from the profile view, instead of the frontal view, and is the only one wearing shoes.

Flexibility of Voice

The writing implement of a crayon did affect the writer. Half-way through his argument, he changed from an orange crayon to a black pen. I believe that he may have felt inhibited intellectually by the crayon. In fact, his over-all argument was rather short. With crayon, he wrote bigger than he did in pen. I'm not talking about the thickness of the lines, which would be expected to be larger in crayon, but the size of each letter. When he switched to pen, not only did his font get smaller, but he also began incorporating script with print writing. When the writer used the crayon, he wrote completely in print.

The writer's creativity was ultimately not stifled, as shown by his picture on the reverse side of his paper (see previous blog post). The argument itself was good, and the writer proved his point and supported it with clear examples.

Advice for those starting out

One can have a superb vocabulary and amazing diction, but without the proper grammar, the writing can be God-awful and a headache to read. Ergo, I plead that one will respect punctuation. Know your commas and your semi-colons. Keep the same voice throughout the piece and don't stray off topic. If you are writing creatively and have an army of original characters, keep them in character. Develop their personalities, their strengths and their weaknesses. If the reader wants to connect to your character, they can't be perfect because, well, no one is perfect. Likewise, the writer must search themselves for their own flaws and work towards ultimate improvement.

Practice won't harm either. How can one improve without practice? "Practice makes perfect," after all. Practice with different styles--experiment. Learn how to manipulate words to adapt to a variety of situations. Don't be afraid to cross taboo boundaries, either. Write a steamy love scene or about a morbid homicide. Go all out. Play with different possibilities.. Most of all, don't be afraid of the reader. You are supposed to manipulate them, not the other way around. Control them, change their state of mind with your words. Laugh and the world laughs with you.

Twitter as a Writing Space

I had a twitter account before we were told to make one for this course. However, I only made one because I lost a bet. I, like many others, thought that twitter was stupid. Why? Because of the limited writing space, of course. But, as I began to tweet, I discovered that the writing limit is what gives twitter its unique charm.

Twitter is made for short snippets of information. Most tweets are silly and irrelevant, announcing what one had for dinner or when one showered that day. There are other times when a tweet holds a lot of emotion.  Tweeting, "I hate you," or "I'm glad I made that call," can have so many different meanings to the reader who doesn't know what the tweets refer to. Tweets can be powerful and meaningful, or virtually useless. It all depends on how the user chooses their words. In a limited writing space, every word counts.

Wearing Text

Clothing:

Often, a person wears text on a shirt to proclaim their interest in a particular fandom. This may be in the form of a band-tee or something else one could buy at their local Hot Topic retailer. Usually, references can be obscure if one doesn't know the inside jokes of said fandom. With sweatshirts, people announce their membership to some kind of community, such as a club or university. We don't see much text on pants unless it deals with showing off a brand name, like Juicy Couture or Victoria Secret's Pink. Text on clothing is something we don't think too hard about. In fact, we usually stay away from text unless the article of clothing was a gift or if we're really into the fandom portrayed. 

Skin:

Skin is a different story. When getting tattooed, one has to keep in mind that theie words can't be shed, unlike a piece of clothing. Therefore, the words usually have a deeper and more symbolic meaning to the wearer. They can't be taken off and shoved into the back of a closet, only to be found twenty years later to sell at a garage sale for more money than its worth because it can labeled as 'vintage'. 

Four Letter Word Video Final

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMz2C-k5Vus&feature=youtu.be

There was a glitch from :27-:29 when uploading to youtube. It, for some bizarre reason, made the video of the French girl longer than the repeated picture of the cycle of life. This really irks me because I made all the "cycle" pictures last longer, like you recommended, but now it's buggin' out on me. My apologies! I tried! Youtube hates me. Boo.

The Problem with Describing Trees

"It is good sometimes for poetry to disenchant us."


The whole point of writing is to use words in a manner to appeal to the reader, whether it may be in the case of presenting an argument or describing a white-picket fence. Poetry often uses words sparingly and gives them rhythm, which separates it from other styles of writing. Poetry also abuses metaphors and similes to present a theme in a way that makes it sound flowery and melodic.  In this way, poetry can make the reader appreciate a flaming pile of compost easier than a narrative within a novel.

What Hass is trying to point out in his poem, though, is that we don't always need to attempt to beautify what we're describing, Often, especially in nature, what we are describing is already so clear and magnificent that it doesn't need an explanation.

Stephanie Meyer's vampires glitter, trees do not.
Hugh Jackman dances, not a tree.

Trees don't do these actions, but we romanticize what they really do to appeal to the reader. A tree also doesn't speak and most people don't have conversations with them (at least those who are considered "normal" by society's standards). "Dance with me, dancer," if directed towards the tree, just sounds silly. Furthermore  having the tree respond, "Oh, I will," sounds even more absurd.

Dexter Typography

I found out recently that the Dexter fandom like to express their love for the show through different kinds of media, such as typography! Here are two of my favorite examples :)

A Four Letter Word Draft Video

Re-done.

View here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDbqjn66uq0&feature=youtu.be

Visual Argument

Images can do what words do in the sense that both can present an argument that can change the attitude, outlook, or behavior of the viewer. A successful visual argument is possible if one works around its problems. For example, the visual argument is often attacked for its vagueness and ambiguity. However, not all visual communication is vague and often we don't expect a writer to be more specific than what is needed to get their point across. Also, the visual argument is sometimes even more effective than the verbal agument in terms of its overwhelming force.

Usually, the visual properties expressed in advertisement resonate with the audience. If a commercial is successful, then its message and symbols register immediately, making the viewers crave to see more. Visuals also help express ideas when words cannot fully convey the meaning of a scene with the necessary power. A picture is worth a thousand words, after all.

Rediscovering Central Asia

The whole essay bored me to tears. My eyes strained against the print, trying to digest each piece of information he threw at me without much success. As a lover of history, I was disappointed my my inability to keep focused on what I was reading. In terms of rhetorical devices, Starr used rhetorical questions (page 203), parenthesis (page 203), and a reoccurring theme of outer space.

Outdated

Why does Meddy suggest this is relevant?  What is one rhetorical strategy used by the video's creators?

In the video, we see a baby interacting with an Apple iPad and magazines. With the iPad, the baby's untrained and clumsy fingers can cause pictures to move and screens to change. When the same baby attempts to perform the same movements upon a magazine, she finds no activity. Pictures don't move and screens don't change. That's when the video creator asks the rhetorical question, "Is it broken or what?"


The magazine is, in fact, not broken. Magazines cannot be broken, unlike the iPad, only torn. When a magazine tears, you shrug and throw it away. When an iPad breaks? You might cry. It was expensive, don't you know? This video is relevant to what we're doing in class because it shows a remediation of writing. Print vs. electronic text. The new generation is growing up with electronics right and left, receiving the trendiest smartphones at the early age of five and the newest video game consoles the moment they're old enough to hold a controller. What will become of print text? Who knows?

Punctuation

Punctuation matters. A lot. 

The question of "Where does the comma go?" is, to me, one of the most important in Standard English grammar. Why? Simply because a comma can alter the meaning of a sentence. For example, let's take the case of direct address. 

I helped my uncle, Jack, off his horse.
I helped my uncle jack off his horse.

The lack of the direct address comma has dire consequences, as you can see. Another related common comma problem is the debate over the Oxford comma, which is used when listing a set of things. For example, instead of writing "Me, myself and I", you write "Me, myself, and I." Personally, I was taught to use the Oxford comma since I was very young and I faithfully advocate its use. Below are some other examples that show the difference it can make, taken from this website.

“I’d like to thank my parents, Jesus and Oprah Winfrey.” (Besides suggesting that a child was born to Jesus and Oprah, the lack of a serial comma also implies that Jesus’ last name is Winfrey.) 

"A notorious gambler, Charlie Sheen owed money to his ex-wives, Billy Bob Thornton and Hugh Grant.”

“This award is dedicated to my good friends, Young Jeezy and God.”

“…highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old
 demigod and a dildo collector.” (Note: this is a real example from The Times of London.)

I've been thinking about Project 3

I've been thinking about my own draft for Project 3 and I have to tell you that, quite frankly, I didn't know what I was doing. Coming up with metaphors alone took me hours of brainstorming. It got to the point where I quoted Forrest Gump. I believe my paper is a hot pile of poo. I apologize for the smell. :(

----

I keep thinking about my Project 3, and I'm pretty sure my next rhetorical move will be to actually include rhetorical devices. I think the only rhetorical device I did include was metaphors. Next time, I suppose I will add repetition and ask questions.

A Sentence Starts Out Like. . .

An explorer who has only a vague idea where their final destination is. Even if they have a map, an outline of directions, they still may run into obstacles along the way. They know their starting point well, but sometimes these obstacles will take them on a path not shown on the map. Often enough, explorers will abandon the beaten path in favor of following clues they have gathered from their travels.

How do you reach the El Dorado? Go off the road and cross the river, where the territory becomes rather swampy. Watch out for annoyances, such as mosquitoes. Crocodiles and witch doctors are quite prevalent, so be careful!

The explorer starts out with an idea where they want to go. It's the journey they take that defines the experience. By discarding the map, the explorer can either overcome the obstacles and reach the destination they have only ever imagined, or they can find themselves lost and die among the aggressive natives who will tear them apart, ripping flesh from bone.

------------
Fun fact:

The extended metaphor of an explorer struggling to find their final destination is my favorite metaphor ever.

The Explorer's Villanelle
Explorers envision destination,
Losing themselves in the sands of time,
Searching for that unknown, vital sensation.

Brows furrow in frustration,
With each fruitless step they climb,
Explorers envision destination.

The Earth shakes with such vibration,
Water and Wind scream in an unholy chime,
Searching for that unknown, vital sensation.

With experience comes transformation,
Knowledge of the mind expanding to its prime,
Explorers envision destination.

Body and Spirit entwining in consummation,
Dusting the blackthorns, oaks, and wild thyme,
Searching for that unknown, vital sensation.

The travel ends at the fountain of salvation,
An illusion of the blessed sublime.
Explorers envision destination,
Searching for that unknown, vital sensation.

(Taken from my writing and photography blog, found here)

Relationship with My Reader

I pretend that my reader isn't there. I don't write to appease the reader, I write to find release. Writing is therapy, and I don't want to be immediately critiqued upon what I feel. Let me say what I need to say, then you can interrupt. At the same time, my writing is geared towards making the reader feel as if they are there, in my story. I try to describe the scene to the best of my ability, using simple and ungarnished words. My goal is to make the scene clear in the minds of myself and the reader, so we can both see the same landscapes, feel the same emotions, and have the same grasp of the characters. By purposefully ignoring the reader by making my writing easier for me to understand, I actually assist the reader in diving into the world of my imagination to see how the story was meant to be seen.

Stomp the Yard

The final battle sequence in "Stomp the Yard" compares to chapter 7 in Trimble's book. The chapter was about readability, and how it's alright to be informal with your reader. Trimble suggests that the writer must find a middle ground between informal and formal, quoting Somerset Maugham when he said, "good prose should resemble the conversation of a well-bred man." In Stomp the Yard, the protagonist finds this middle ground in dancing; he is on a "formal" step team, but uses "informal" crunking moves from his past dancing days to influence his routine. By mixing informality into the dance, he gives the audience something new to look at that has never been seen before in stepping. In writing, one can mirror this informality by writing a convincing argument using fewer adjectives and adverbs, powerful nouns, and conjunctions.

Home

Home is like. . .

Home is, like, where the heart is and stuff. It's that place where one can feel warm, comfortable, and content, where one can be herself without judgment. Home is fluffy bed, complete with a mattress so soft that one sinks deeply into its tempting foam without a second thought, a fuzzy blanket to wrap around oneself like a strong pair of arms, and with a stuffed animal to cuddle to console oneself with after a hard day. It is hot chocolate, decorated with tiny marshmallows for extra sweetness for those especially crappy days. Home is where one finds a peace of mind and possibly someone to share that peace with.

Home is not like. . .

Home is not like a party. It is not a crazy teenage party, where booze is the form of entertainment and people are always moving; it is not chaotic. It is also not a wedding or any other form of formal party. One doesn't have to watch their manners, sit up straight, mind their hair and make-up, and watch out for dangerous foods that threaten to stain your favorite dress. Home is not where one can hide behind a mask of elegance or an alcohol induced grin. It is not a place where one worries about whispers behind their back, jeers about those slutty, ripped jeans or that dress that sits too low on the bosom. Home is where you can unbutton those tight jeans and pull out those painful pins out of your hair to find release.

Home is sometimes like. . .

Home is sometimes like a rose, not without its thorns. The relaxation, peace, and quiet that a home offers can be so very welcome after a long day out, but there can be too much of a good thing. Left alone in isolation and without anything to busy one's mind can lead to thoughts wandering astray. Why did you say those things yesterday? Why are you so socially awkward? What kind of impression do you give? Are you too annoying? Does that kid from down the street like you, or were they only being nice? What does the future hold? Can you handle whatever it throws at you? What about that friend you had in 5th grade? What happened to them? Maybe you should look them up. Oh, no. They got fat and you laugh at their weight gain. Why are you so mean? What if you're a hypocrite? Weigh yourself. No, no, no no. You gained two pounds since last month. Start to google diets revolving around carbohydrates because you're on your period and you want to fulfill your cravings. Sneeze and feel a chunk your uterus slide out. Sob a little. Life stinks.

Home is sometimes where bad thoughts can infect the good, where the disease can spread to the deepest corners of one's consciousness, filling it to the brim with dark mumblings of insecurity. It is never good to have too much time to think.

Like, You Know?

How does the poem differ in its two recensions? What reading does spoken word (orality) privilege? What does the textual writing space (unconventional as it is) play in the transmission of meaning?

In the video of Taylor Mali reciting the poem on youtube, I found myself quickly drawn in to what he was saying because I felt familiar and comfortable with his way of speaking. He talked like many of my friends, and just generally very similar to how many teenagers today vocalize their thoughts. We abuse the word 'like', throwing it in carelessly into conversation. It has become so common of a crime, in fact, that one often doesn't even realize that said crime has been committed.

When writing a private blog entry on another website, I write how I speak. Looking back on my older blogs online, I became shamefully aware how dreadful and casual my language has become. Some examples are:

"Man, iunno what to think."
"But, like, what also bothers me is..."
"I mean, i doubt..."
"Like, to find out he was close to them shocked me. I would figure that he would be closer to his guy friends, y’know?"

The word "like" has infiltrated both my written and oral language, I combine words because I'm too lazy to say/write them separately (re: "iunno"), I constantly feel the need to defend my arguments by using "I mean" instead of actually getting to the point, and then there's the obvious use of "y'know". I'm flabbergasted at my horrendous use of words, and absolutely terrified how common my mistakes are among society today. When Mali spoke, it was as if I was listening to a friend. It was only upon actually reading his poem in the unconventional writing space that I realized how. . .awkward. . .the use of such language was. It creates a type of informality in speech, giving it a more laid-back tone. This tone is full of uncertainty and laziness, making it sound as if the speaker does not care if he/she is right or wrong. It lacks power and, as Mali states, conviction.

Group 2's Prezi (my group)

Prezi, Group 2 on Chapter 2

Am I Afraid to Write?

Only when I am being judged (ie: being graded) because that is the only time where i don't write what I'm comfortable with. The subject is so confined, y'know? Writing, to me, helps me express my thoughts when spoken words fail me. My public speaking abilities are horrendous, but the words tumbling in my mind are not. When put together in an organized manner, they can be powerful and convincing. Writing gives me the opportunity to put forth my arguments clearly, without having to worry about stepping over my own tongue.


Also, people are more inclined to read a passage without interruption than they would if they had to listen to one. This fact enables me to fully voice my opinions and defend them, without the worry that the person who I'm writing to will stop reading and make judgments based on the little bit he/she has read. Because text is more physical, the reader can go back and read a message whenever they feel they have the courage or curiosity to. Writing also allows me to re-read my points and exchange flat verbs for more vivid ones, which is something I cannot do when speaking because words cannot be taken back.

Prezis for Groups 1 and 3

Group 1, Chapter 1

• print changing, becoming less popular, still popular to authors
• "This will replace that"
• electronic writing takes less effort
• reader becomes author because they can change what they read, the accessability of electronic text
• electronic text can be changed for the worst
• censorship less controlled on digital texts (links can lead anywhere, advertisements)
• written text requires no tools, but print process might
• advantages of books - physical advantages
• word processor - typographic
• electronic text appeals to larger group
• electronic text - more visually complex, easily manipulated

Possible argument: Is digital text a fad or here to stay? Is it growing out of human control?

Group 3, Chapter 2

• computer capable of catering to reader's needs (ie: formatting, editing)
• writing = organizing verbal ideas in visual space
• physical communication with computer, therefore natural
• computers go hand-in-hand with culture
• writing space becomes more advanced to meet the challenge of evolving writing
• computer fine tunes printed book
• computers evolved society into media culture
• electronic writing is flexible and interactive, makes writing come to life

Possible argument: The computer is a more evolved form of writing and is more natural than one would think.

The Machine

Before e-mail, there was the pony express.

Before print, there was ink.

But to those who saw letters on paper, written with bottled ink and a feathered quill, as a new means of communication, it was a new form of technology. Technology, although great, is feared. This fear can be show in movies like The Matrix, in which society is taken over by artificial intelligence. But why be afraid? Because technology is powerful, that's why.

Google, Facebook, Youtube. The world wide web and the use of computers have changed society exponentially. Instead of communicating face-to-face, we talk to each other via a bright screen and buzzing hardware. This has caused older forms of communication, such as handwritten letters, to become obsolete. In an ever-upgrading world, where technologies are becoming more advanced by the day and the power to delete millions of terabytes of information lies in the push of a single key, who wouldn't be afraid?

But just as the machine uses us, we also use the machine. Many think it's easier to speak their mind through computer text than through speech. This can be due to the fact that text is always the same. Since every letter will look the same in every word, it causes the writer to grow detached from their piece because they cannot put the same amount of their attitude and personality in text as they could through word of mouth or through developed handwriting. By distancing themselves from the person they are talking to, some may find that it is easier to speak unbiasedly and remain truthful, while not wearing their emotions on their sleeve. Thus, while the machine uses us, controls us, through its sheer precense and importance in today's society, we adapt to use the machine for our own good.

My Thoughts on Diction

In chapter six of Writing with Style, diction is discussed. The chapter mentions points covered in class, so much was review. However, the points made are still valid and important to keep in mind. Two pieces of advice - to keep the prose concise and to use "vigorous" verbs- can be tied together. By using the recommendations hand-in-hand, one is able to form tasteful sentences. If one is too wordy, it often makes the sentence awkward and rough, where it could be flowing and smooth.

I found these two pieces of information to be the most useful to me. I am disappointed to say that I find my vocabulary lacking more so than what I would prefer; my words are too simple to give my sentences much power. Before reading this chapter, however, I did not know that I could drastically change my writing style by exchanging one verb for another. I also have a problem with wordiness, thus I was also able to take advice away about making my sentences more concise. If I work on improving my verb choices and over-all vocabulary, I hope that my writing will also improve exponentially.

Old Spice Analysis

The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

Over the past few years, Old Spice has used actor Isaiah Mustafa in ads for their famous shower gel. These commercials have become vastly popular and Isaiah, also known as "the man your man could smell like", has donned the persona of the "Old Spice Guy" in other Old Spice videos, many of which can only be viewed on their Youtube channel. Isaiah's toned and half-naked body, along with his suave manner of speaking and smug smile, have greatly contributed to the success of this surprisingly simple commercial.

If one breaks down the thirty three second ad and analyzes each part, it's aim becomes quite obvious. The commercial starts out with Mustafa standing in a bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. The first words he utters are "Hello, ladies", in a sensual purr. He urges the female viewers to look at their significant other and then to look back at him, which forces the audience to compare the two men. Then, as if to emphasis the differences between himself and the other men, Mustafa orders the women to do it again. At this point, Mustafa knows that the women have come to the conclusion that their men pale in comparison to him and remarks, "Sadly, he isn't me."

Now that he has gained the attention of the female audience, Mustafa starts to market the Old Spice shower gel by saying, "But, if he stopped using lady scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he's me." Ah, there's the selling point; if a man uses Old Spice shower gel, he would become popular with the ladies. Just as the audience becomes fully engaged in the commercial, Mustafa again orders the viewer to look away. When one looks back to the ad, they find Mustafa now wearing a pair of nicely pressed slacks, with a blue and white striped button down shirt hanging over his shoulders. Not only that, but the scene changes so that he is no longer standing in a bathroom, but on a boat.

This scene puts one on a boat with "the man your man could smell like" if, that is, he switched to Old Spice shower gel. Again, Mustafa demands that you look away, only to look back at him, "What's in your hand? Back at me- I have it." He raises a hand, holding an oyster. "It's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love." By using the word "thing" and not specifically mentioning what the tickets were for, he shows what could be apathy to what women care about. On a more optimistic side, however, he may just saying "thing" in order to make it more general and thus appeal to a greater population of women.

"Look again," Mustafa commands. "The tickets are now diamonds." The oyster in his hand dissolves into a pile of diamonds, a downpour of a "girl's best friend". This act of magic is explained by the statement, "Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady." By appealing to women through their romantic, yet materialistic, natures, Mustafa makes them question the devotion of their partner. Why don't their men take them out more often? Why don't their men buy them pretty and expensive things? What's wrong with them? By the time one is done pondering such questions, they find Mustafa sitting on a horse. This can be a symbol of a knight in shining armor, the ideal male figure in most female fantasies. Suddenly, it makes the woman come to a sad realization - where is her knight? Her partner's appeal, or armor, is now dented from years of wear-and-tear, and their once sharp and protective sword is dull from continued use. But Mustafa. . . Mustafa offers them something new, something exciting. By playing on the female need for attention and their superficial biases, Old Spice allures women to buy their men Old Spice brand products.

Heineken Analysis

In this Heineken commercial, we were shown how the media attempts to play on gender stereotypes. The commercial starts off with a woman showing her girlfriends an impressive walk-in closet, filled with all different kinds of apparel. Her friends, amazed and happy for her, break out in an excited squeal. Their celebration comes to a stuttering halt when they hear shouting in the distance. The main male figure in this commercial, possibly the main female's husband, decides to show his friends his own amazing hide-away. The screen shoots from a vision of the confused women, to one of a group of men screaming like it was their first Christmas.


The men were yelping and jumping like their women counterparts when they discovered the walk-in fridge. This wasn't any fridge, however. It was a beer fridge, filled wall-to-wall with Heineken. By having only men visit the beer fridge and only women visit the walk-in closet, Heineken uses gender stereotypes to target the commercial mainly towards men. Even though many women would be happy to take the fridge over the closet, it is the stereotype of women going crazy over shoes and shopping that Heineken uses to compare how much men like beer. While shopping is considered a more feminine hobby, drinking beer is thought to be a more 'manly' act.

12 Questions for AT&T and Heineken

AT&T

1. Are they selling a phone or the plan?
2. What's their approach?
3. Where were the kids' parents?
4. Where did they get the phone?
5. Why didn't they use the phone from the beginning?
6. Why are they in the city?
7. What city is it?
8. What type of phone did they have?
9. How old were they?
10. Why did they only use part of the original Hansel and Gretel plot?
11. Why make the children wear lederhosen?
12. If the children took the subway there, how did they manage to walk back home?

Heineken

1. How does this commercial show the Heineken motto "serving the planet"?
2. How did they afford the walk in closet/fridge?
3. Were the man and women married?
4. What was the house party for?
5. Is there any light beer in the fridge?
6. What's Heineken's alcohol content?
7. Why weren't the people at the party drinking the beer?
8. How much did all that beer cost?
9. Was the cost of the beer equivalent to the cost of the clothes?
10. Why was it aimed mostly towards males?
11. Why only appeal to one gender when Heineken could appeal to both and gain more profit?
12. What year was this commercial released?

Commercial Suggestion

Old Spice Guy
^the one I would like to suggest for class

Old Spice REMIX 

^ a funny mash-up of a few Old Spice commercials.

And this weird Japanese banana commercial.

^because it was between Old Spice and this, and it was a really close call.

AT&T Analysis

In this AT&T commercial, we are given two young children, a brother and a sister, who seem lost in time. They arrive from the depths of the city's subway system to find themselves in a forest of urbanization. Being as primitive as they are, for they are depicted to be from the early 1800s if one bases that inference on the time period the original "Hansel and Gretel" was written by the brothers Grimm, they use bread crumbs as a means of retracing their steps. However, just as in the original fairytale, the bread crumbs serve to be a terrible idea. The pieces of bread are eaten by city pigeons and trampled on by hurried business people. Finding themselves in this unfortunate predicament, the children momentarily panic before Gretel suddenly remembers her AT&T cell phone which ultimately saves them from being forever lost in the big city.

AT&T serves as the parental figure that Hansel and Gretel lack. The children were facing abandonment in an unknown place, just as in the original version of the story, without any adult figure to help them. Panic and anxiety rising, eyes opening wide in fear at the realization of their situation, they search for a way home. AT&T acts as their guardian, showing them the way back to their homely "cottage". By using the authority position of a guardian/parent, AT&T set out to prove that they will take care of their customers with the best intentions, just as a parent would look after their children. This is meant to bring up a level of comfort and security within a possible customer, as they would feel that AT&T would protect them from unfair charges and care for them in case there was an accident or emergency. This commercial, therefore, uses the psychological fear of abandonment to lure the viewer in.

Pantene Analysis

The symbol of the taped violin at the end of the Pantene commercial seems to have a fairly straight-forward meaning: it is the fractured pieces of our protagonist, who was broken and then "mended". The deaf Thai girl, finding herself struggling to be accepted by society because of her handicap, discovers a street performer in whom she not only makes a friend, but also gains confidence from his "words" of wisdom. The man and the girl grow close until a fight in the street lands said man in the hospital and leaves the girl with a broken violin.

It seemed that the girl had, for a moment, lost hope because of the incident, which then caused her to withdraw from the recital. However, the memories of her friendship with the kind man act like tape, holding together the remains of the violin that were her ruptured confidence and shattered hope. The violin, once damaged, does not suffer from its simple repair job,but rather gains a powerful new sound from it. With memories and gratitude driving her spirit and musical soul, the girl performs a dazzling piece with such great passion that she stuns the audience into a state of awe.

Focused Freewrite 9/12

John Trimble compares writers to warriors. I suppose that makes a lot of sense, although i think that's only because the phrase, "the pen is mightier than the sword" is ringing in my head. Words are pretty darn powerful. I mean, look at the effect of putting something into writing has on people. The Bill of Rights, the U.S. Constitution, and even the Magna Carta are all great examples of this. By simply confirming something in writing, it gives a whole new power to a person because their word thus becomes "set in stone", so to speak.

Civilizations of the past who had their own writing systems are claimed to be the most advanced (RE: the Greeks, the Arabs, the Maya, and the Egyptians). By recording their history in the written word, they were able to preserve their culture and, therefore, defend it against the bludgeons of time and war. As an anthropologist-to-be, I marvel at the power of words because of this. Haha, it also reminds me of that creative writing "boast" I had to write for English class last year.

"The pen is my sword,

Paper my shield.

I am a shield maiden of the written language,

Infecting those around me with new sight and dreams of fantasy."

- excerpt from "Senior Boast", inspired by Beowulf.

A Beginning

Here I am at Hofstra and I am blogging.

Well, not like that's new or anything. I mean, I blog all the time! I like to type out my feelings on the internet because it's a virtual diary, which involves fast-paced typing rather than simplistic handwriting. Not that I mind writing stuff out. In fact, I rather enjoy it! However, I get all OCD about my penmanship and it bothers me when I can't write neatly enough for my liking. I want to be able to understand what I wrote when I look back in a few months and review, y'know?

I think this whole blogging idea is pretty darn neat. It's so easy to just type how you're feeling sometimes. Haha, I'm supposed to be writing for 7 straight minutes and I'm already having trouble figuring out what to write. How terrible! I am ashamed of my lack of energy to write today! My roommate just left to go get pizza with a friend and it's 10:11 pm. humm diddy humm. I want pizza herpaderpp :(

I'm homesick. I miss my friends, and I miss this guy (but that's a story for another day). You said this can be informal, right? Oh geez, I hope so LOL. To make up for my lack of formality, here's a picture of a mustached bear with a monocle riding Abraham Lincoln, who is shooting lasers out of his eyes, into battle. Enjoy.