In chapter six of Writing with Style, diction is discussed. The chapter mentions points covered in class, so much was review. However, the points made are still valid and important to keep in mind. Two pieces of advice - to keep the prose concise and to use "vigorous" verbs- can be tied together. By using the recommendations hand-in-hand, one is able to form tasteful sentences. If one is too wordy, it often makes the sentence awkward and rough, where it could be flowing and smooth.
I found these two pieces of information to be the most useful to me. I am disappointed to say that I find my vocabulary lacking more so than what I would prefer; my words are too simple to give my sentences much power. Before reading this chapter, however, I did not know that I could drastically change my writing style by exchanging one verb for another. I also have a problem with wordiness, thus I was also able to take advice away about making my sentences more concise. If I work on improving my verb choices and over-all vocabulary, I hope that my writing will also improve exponentially.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Old Spice Analysis
The Man Your Man Could Smell Like
Over the past few years, Old Spice has used actor Isaiah Mustafa in ads for their famous shower gel. These commercials have become vastly popular and Isaiah, also known as "the man your man could smell like", has donned the persona of the "Old Spice Guy" in other Old Spice videos, many of which can only be viewed on their Youtube channel. Isaiah's toned and half-naked body, along with his suave manner of speaking and smug smile, have greatly contributed to the success of this surprisingly simple commercial.
If one breaks down the thirty three second ad and analyzes each part, it's aim becomes quite obvious. The commercial starts out with Mustafa standing in a bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. The first words he utters are "Hello, ladies", in a sensual purr. He urges the female viewers to look at their significant other and then to look back at him, which forces the audience to compare the two men. Then, as if to emphasis the differences between himself and the other men, Mustafa orders the women to do it again. At this point, Mustafa knows that the women have come to the conclusion that their men pale in comparison to him and remarks, "Sadly, he isn't me."
Now that he has gained the attention of the female audience, Mustafa starts to market the Old Spice shower gel by saying, "But, if he stopped using lady scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he's me." Ah, there's the selling point; if a man uses Old Spice shower gel, he would become popular with the ladies. Just as the audience becomes fully engaged in the commercial, Mustafa again orders the viewer to look away. When one looks back to the ad, they find Mustafa now wearing a pair of nicely pressed slacks, with a blue and white striped button down shirt hanging over his shoulders. Not only that, but the scene changes so that he is no longer standing in a bathroom, but on a boat.
This scene puts one on a boat with "the man your man could smell like" if, that is, he switched to Old Spice shower gel. Again, Mustafa demands that you look away, only to look back at him, "What's in your hand? Back at me- I have it." He raises a hand, holding an oyster. "It's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love." By using the word "thing" and not specifically mentioning what the tickets were for, he shows what could be apathy to what women care about. On a more optimistic side, however, he may just saying "thing" in order to make it more general and thus appeal to a greater population of women.
"Look again," Mustafa commands. "The tickets are now diamonds." The oyster in his hand dissolves into a pile of diamonds, a downpour of a "girl's best friend". This act of magic is explained by the statement, "Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady." By appealing to women through their romantic, yet materialistic, natures, Mustafa makes them question the devotion of their partner. Why don't their men take them out more often? Why don't their men buy them pretty and expensive things? What's wrong with them? By the time one is done pondering such questions, they find Mustafa sitting on a horse. This can be a symbol of a knight in shining armor, the ideal male figure in most female fantasies. Suddenly, it makes the woman come to a sad realization - where is her knight? Her partner's appeal, or armor, is now dented from years of wear-and-tear, and their once sharp and protective sword is dull from continued use. But Mustafa. . . Mustafa offers them something new, something exciting. By playing on the female need for attention and their superficial biases, Old Spice allures women to buy their men Old Spice brand products.
Over the past few years, Old Spice has used actor Isaiah Mustafa in ads for their famous shower gel. These commercials have become vastly popular and Isaiah, also known as "the man your man could smell like", has donned the persona of the "Old Spice Guy" in other Old Spice videos, many of which can only be viewed on their Youtube channel. Isaiah's toned and half-naked body, along with his suave manner of speaking and smug smile, have greatly contributed to the success of this surprisingly simple commercial.
If one breaks down the thirty three second ad and analyzes each part, it's aim becomes quite obvious. The commercial starts out with Mustafa standing in a bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. The first words he utters are "Hello, ladies", in a sensual purr. He urges the female viewers to look at their significant other and then to look back at him, which forces the audience to compare the two men. Then, as if to emphasis the differences between himself and the other men, Mustafa orders the women to do it again. At this point, Mustafa knows that the women have come to the conclusion that their men pale in comparison to him and remarks, "Sadly, he isn't me."
Now that he has gained the attention of the female audience, Mustafa starts to market the Old Spice shower gel by saying, "But, if he stopped using lady scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he's me." Ah, there's the selling point; if a man uses Old Spice shower gel, he would become popular with the ladies. Just as the audience becomes fully engaged in the commercial, Mustafa again orders the viewer to look away. When one looks back to the ad, they find Mustafa now wearing a pair of nicely pressed slacks, with a blue and white striped button down shirt hanging over his shoulders. Not only that, but the scene changes so that he is no longer standing in a bathroom, but on a boat.
This scene puts one on a boat with "the man your man could smell like" if, that is, he switched to Old Spice shower gel. Again, Mustafa demands that you look away, only to look back at him, "What's in your hand? Back at me- I have it." He raises a hand, holding an oyster. "It's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love." By using the word "thing" and not specifically mentioning what the tickets were for, he shows what could be apathy to what women care about. On a more optimistic side, however, he may just saying "thing" in order to make it more general and thus appeal to a greater population of women.
"Look again," Mustafa commands. "The tickets are now diamonds." The oyster in his hand dissolves into a pile of diamonds, a downpour of a "girl's best friend". This act of magic is explained by the statement, "Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady." By appealing to women through their romantic, yet materialistic, natures, Mustafa makes them question the devotion of their partner. Why don't their men take them out more often? Why don't their men buy them pretty and expensive things? What's wrong with them? By the time one is done pondering such questions, they find Mustafa sitting on a horse. This can be a symbol of a knight in shining armor, the ideal male figure in most female fantasies. Suddenly, it makes the woman come to a sad realization - where is her knight? Her partner's appeal, or armor, is now dented from years of wear-and-tear, and their once sharp and protective sword is dull from continued use. But Mustafa. . . Mustafa offers them something new, something exciting. By playing on the female need for attention and their superficial biases, Old Spice allures women to buy their men Old Spice brand products.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Heineken Analysis
In this Heineken commercial, we were shown how the media attempts to play on gender stereotypes. The commercial starts off with a woman showing her girlfriends an impressive walk-in closet, filled with all different kinds of apparel. Her friends, amazed and happy for her, break out in an excited squeal. Their celebration comes to a stuttering halt when they hear shouting in the distance. The main male figure in this commercial, possibly the main female's husband, decides to show his friends his own amazing hide-away. The screen shoots from a vision of the confused women, to one of a group of men screaming like it was their first Christmas.
The men were yelping and jumping like their women counterparts when they discovered the walk-in fridge. This wasn't any fridge, however. It was a beer fridge, filled wall-to-wall with Heineken. By having only men visit the beer fridge and only women visit the walk-in closet, Heineken uses gender stereotypes to target the commercial mainly towards men. Even though many women would be happy to take the fridge over the closet, it is the stereotype of women going crazy over shoes and shopping that Heineken uses to compare how much men like beer. While shopping is considered a more feminine hobby, drinking beer is thought to be a more 'manly' act.
The men were yelping and jumping like their women counterparts when they discovered the walk-in fridge. This wasn't any fridge, however. It was a beer fridge, filled wall-to-wall with Heineken. By having only men visit the beer fridge and only women visit the walk-in closet, Heineken uses gender stereotypes to target the commercial mainly towards men. Even though many women would be happy to take the fridge over the closet, it is the stereotype of women going crazy over shoes and shopping that Heineken uses to compare how much men like beer. While shopping is considered a more feminine hobby, drinking beer is thought to be a more 'manly' act.
12 Questions for AT&T and Heineken
AT&T
- Are they selling a phone or the plan?
- What's their approach?
- Where were the kids' parents?
- Where did they get the phone?
- Why didn't they use the phone from the beginning?
- Why are they in the city?
- What city is it?
- What type of phone did they have?
- How old were they?
- Why did they only use part of the original Hansel and Gretel plot?
- Why make the children wear lederhosen?
- If the children took the subway there, how did they manage to walk back home?
- How does this commercial show the Heineken motto "serving the planet"?
- How did they afford the walk in closet/fridge?
- Were the man and women married?
- What was the house party for?
- Is there any light beer in the fridge?
- What's Heineken's alcohol content?
- Why weren't the people at the party drinking the beer?
- How much did all that beer cost?
- Was the cost of the beer equivalent to the cost of the clothes?
- Why was it aimed mostly towards males?
- Why only appeal to one gender when Heineken could appeal to both and gain more profit?
- What year was this commercial released?
Commercial Suggestion
Old Spice Guy
^the one I would like to suggest for class
Old Spice REMIX
^ a funny mash-up of a few Old Spice commercials.
And this weird Japanese banana commercial.
^because it was between Old Spice and this, and it was a really close call.
^the one I would like to suggest for class
Old Spice REMIX
^ a funny mash-up of a few Old Spice commercials.
And this weird Japanese banana commercial.
^because it was between Old Spice and this, and it was a really close call.
Monday, September 12, 2011
AT&T Analysis
In this AT&T commercial, we are given two young children, a brother and a sister, who seem lost in time. They arrive from the depths of the city's subway system to find themselves in a forest of urbanization. Being as primitive as they are, for they are depicted to be from the early 1800s if one bases that inference on the time period the original "Hansel and Gretel" was written by the brothers Grimm, they use bread crumbs as a means of retracing their steps. However, just as in the original fairytale, the bread crumbs serve to be a terrible idea. The pieces of bread are eaten by city pigeons and trampled on by hurried business people. Finding themselves in this unfortunate predicament, the children momentarily panic before Gretel suddenly remembers her AT&T cell phone which ultimately saves them from being forever lost in the big city.
AT&T serves as the parental figure that Hansel and Gretel lack. The children were facing abandonment in an unknown place, just as in the original version of the story, without any adult figure to help them. Panic and anxiety rising, eyes opening wide in fear at the realization of their situation, they search for a way home. AT&T acts as their guardian, showing them the way back to their homely "cottage". By using the authority position of a guardian/parent, AT&T set out to prove that they will take care of their customers with the best intentions, just as a parent would look after their children. This is meant to bring up a level of comfort and security within a possible customer, as they would feel that AT&T would protect them from unfair charges and care for them in case there was an accident or emergency. This commercial, therefore, uses the psychological fear of abandonment to lure the viewer in.
AT&T serves as the parental figure that Hansel and Gretel lack. The children were facing abandonment in an unknown place, just as in the original version of the story, without any adult figure to help them. Panic and anxiety rising, eyes opening wide in fear at the realization of their situation, they search for a way home. AT&T acts as their guardian, showing them the way back to their homely "cottage". By using the authority position of a guardian/parent, AT&T set out to prove that they will take care of their customers with the best intentions, just as a parent would look after their children. This is meant to bring up a level of comfort and security within a possible customer, as they would feel that AT&T would protect them from unfair charges and care for them in case there was an accident or emergency. This commercial, therefore, uses the psychological fear of abandonment to lure the viewer in.
Pantene Analysis
The symbol of the taped violin at the end of the Pantene commercial seems to have a fairly straight-forward meaning: it is the fractured pieces of our protagonist, who was broken and then "mended". The deaf Thai girl, finding herself struggling to be accepted by society because of her handicap, discovers a street performer in whom she not only makes a friend, but also gains confidence from his "words" of wisdom. The man and the girl grow close until a fight in the street lands said man in the hospital and leaves the girl with a broken violin.
It seemed that the girl had, for a moment, lost hope because of the incident, which then caused her to withdraw from the recital. However, the memories of her friendship with the kind man act like tape, holding together the remains of the violin that were her ruptured confidence and shattered hope. The violin, once damaged, does not suffer from its simple repair job,but rather gains a powerful new sound from it. With memories and gratitude driving her spirit and musical soul, the girl performs a dazzling piece with such great passion that she stuns the audience into a state of awe.
It seemed that the girl had, for a moment, lost hope because of the incident, which then caused her to withdraw from the recital. However, the memories of her friendship with the kind man act like tape, holding together the remains of the violin that were her ruptured confidence and shattered hope. The violin, once damaged, does not suffer from its simple repair job,but rather gains a powerful new sound from it. With memories and gratitude driving her spirit and musical soul, the girl performs a dazzling piece with such great passion that she stuns the audience into a state of awe.
Focused Freewrite 9/12
John Trimble compares writers to warriors. I suppose that makes a lot of sense, although i think that's only because the phrase, "the pen is mightier than the sword" is ringing in my head. Words are pretty darn powerful. I mean, look at the effect of putting something into writing has on people. The Bill of Rights, the U.S. Constitution, and even the Magna Carta are all great examples of this. By simply confirming something in writing, it gives a whole new power to a person because their word thus becomes "set in stone", so to speak.
Civilizations of the past who had their own writing systems are claimed to be the most advanced (RE: the Greeks, the Arabs, the Maya, and the Egyptians). By recording their history in the written word, they were able to preserve their culture and, therefore, defend it against the bludgeons of time and war. As an anthropologist-to-be, I marvel at the power of words because of this. Haha, it also reminds me of that creative writing "boast" I had to write for English class last year.
Civilizations of the past who had their own writing systems are claimed to be the most advanced (RE: the Greeks, the Arabs, the Maya, and the Egyptians). By recording their history in the written word, they were able to preserve their culture and, therefore, defend it against the bludgeons of time and war. As an anthropologist-to-be, I marvel at the power of words because of this. Haha, it also reminds me of that creative writing "boast" I had to write for English class last year.
"The pen is my sword,
Paper my shield.
I am a shield maiden of the written language,
Infecting those around me with new sight and dreams of fantasy."
- excerpt from "Senior Boast", inspired by Beowulf.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
A Beginning
Here I am at Hofstra and I am blogging.
Well, not like that's new or anything. I mean, I blog all the time! I like to type out my feelings on the internet because it's a virtual diary, which involves fast-paced typing rather than simplistic handwriting. Not that I mind writing stuff out. In fact, I rather enjoy it! However, I get all OCD about my penmanship and it bothers me when I can't write neatly enough for my liking. I want to be able to understand what I wrote when I look back in a few months and review, y'know?
I think this whole blogging idea is pretty darn neat. It's so easy to just type how you're feeling sometimes. Haha, I'm supposed to be writing for 7 straight minutes and I'm already having trouble figuring out what to write. How terrible! I am ashamed of my lack of energy to write today! My roommate just left to go get pizza with a friend and it's 10:11 pm. humm diddy humm. I want pizza herpaderpp :(
I'm homesick. I miss my friends, and I miss this guy (but that's a story for another day). You said this can be informal, right? Oh geez, I hope so LOL. To make up for my lack of formality, here's a picture of a mustached bear with a monocle riding Abraham Lincoln, who is shooting lasers out of his eyes, into battle. Enjoy.
Well, not like that's new or anything. I mean, I blog all the time! I like to type out my feelings on the internet because it's a virtual diary, which involves fast-paced typing rather than simplistic handwriting. Not that I mind writing stuff out. In fact, I rather enjoy it! However, I get all OCD about my penmanship and it bothers me when I can't write neatly enough for my liking. I want to be able to understand what I wrote when I look back in a few months and review, y'know?
I think this whole blogging idea is pretty darn neat. It's so easy to just type how you're feeling sometimes. Haha, I'm supposed to be writing for 7 straight minutes and I'm already having trouble figuring out what to write. How terrible! I am ashamed of my lack of energy to write today! My roommate just left to go get pizza with a friend and it's 10:11 pm. humm diddy humm. I want pizza herpaderpp :(
I'm homesick. I miss my friends, and I miss this guy (but that's a story for another day). You said this can be informal, right? Oh geez, I hope so LOL. To make up for my lack of formality, here's a picture of a mustached bear with a monocle riding Abraham Lincoln, who is shooting lasers out of his eyes, into battle. Enjoy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)